Packerbacker
Grandpa Whine
http://denver.craigslist.org/msg/4593847996.html. Seen this on The Gear Page and got a good laugh.
Craig's List Ad
- Thread starter Packerbacker
- Start date
Guitar Heel
Demented Trick
lmbo
Denverdave
Resident Ragamuffin
Makes me want to drive over there and buy it from him......
In case it gets deleted:
"As the title states, I have one very shitty, piss-poor quality guitar from the very shitty chinese "Crescent" brand. I'm sure you've never heard of it, but I can assure you it in fact cost entire pennies to produce, if not one single cent. I do believe it came from a sweatshop but cannot verify.
It's a great beginner's guitar in the event that you aren't sure whether you're going to stick with guitar playing and don't want to invest in something you may never touch after a month. That's what I used it for and it did its job. You will be happy to know I learned a few kids songs while incredibly drunk and was so pleased with my obviously guitar-virtuoso self that I decided to stick with it, thus buying a real guitar. Unfortunately that guitar is not for sale and the piece of shit you see in the above pictures is all you're getting. The lovely brown futon pictured is not included either. Sorry.
Now onto the details. It's standard sized (not a kiddy guitar), black, made of very shitty wood if not plastic. I'm just kidding.. it's shitty wood. The tuners and stuff are all very shitty in terms of quality. As you may have guessed, the sound is very shitty. Nothing you play will sound good on this guitar, although some songs may actually be somewhat recognizable.
You may have noticed some stickers and random shit on the fretboard. That is actually my own doing. I taped fret markers in the form of little numbered bits of paper to the fretboard. There are also little stickers with that little bird from Snoopy that I strategically placed to mark where you tune the strings, although these are useless because this guitar will sound terrible and out of tune no matter what. Remember, this is a piece of shit beginners guitar and I feel no regret for having defaced it with stickers. They were helpful and in fact, they will probably be helpful to you, but I'm not going to charge you extra for that. You can send all thank-you letters and gifts to my business address and I will have my assistant sort through them. I wouldn't protest a gift of fancy chocolates or frozen steaks.
Out of the goodness of my lump-of-coal heart, I'm also going to throw in a guitar strap, which is equally shitty in terms of quality. Yes, ladies and gentleman, all this can be yours for a mere $5. Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to include a pick with this guitar because I only have a couple and lose them constantly. So just like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine was in the bathroom and needed some toilet paper but was informed by her neighboring bathroom-goer that she didn't have "a square to spare," I likewise don't have a pick to spare. Luckily, because of my excellent sense of direction, I am able to direct you to the nearest Guitar Center where you can get all the picks your little heart desires. Most of them will be lost by the end of the week, though. Heed my warning: picks are like that.
So, yes: all this can be yours, craigslist pervert. If you learn to play a few songs and move on to a real guitar, then this piece of shit will have done its job and maybe you can forward it on to another ambivalent beginner guitarist. Because although it is incredibly shitty, it does in fact attempt to function much like a real guitar, and may just be the stepping stone you need to learn to play the guitar without breaking the bank.
You'll have to come pick it up, though, because I'm too embarrassed to be seen with this guitar in public. Again I'm just kidding.. no, no I'm not. You will have to come get it. I cannot deliver. Now, I'm going to make sure my ringer is on nice and loud because I know my phone will be blowing up with inquiries regarding this wonderful deal. If you decide this p.o.s. is not worth $5, well, you're probably right. If there are no takers I can go ahead and let you know the location of the dumpster where you can get it for free in a couple of days in case you need some extra materials for a bonfire when you go camping this weekend."
"As the title states, I have one very shitty, piss-poor quality guitar from the very shitty chinese "Crescent" brand. I'm sure you've never heard of it, but I can assure you it in fact cost entire pennies to produce, if not one single cent. I do believe it came from a sweatshop but cannot verify.
It's a great beginner's guitar in the event that you aren't sure whether you're going to stick with guitar playing and don't want to invest in something you may never touch after a month. That's what I used it for and it did its job. You will be happy to know I learned a few kids songs while incredibly drunk and was so pleased with my obviously guitar-virtuoso self that I decided to stick with it, thus buying a real guitar. Unfortunately that guitar is not for sale and the piece of shit you see in the above pictures is all you're getting. The lovely brown futon pictured is not included either. Sorry.
Now onto the details. It's standard sized (not a kiddy guitar), black, made of very shitty wood if not plastic. I'm just kidding.. it's shitty wood. The tuners and stuff are all very shitty in terms of quality. As you may have guessed, the sound is very shitty. Nothing you play will sound good on this guitar, although some songs may actually be somewhat recognizable.
You may have noticed some stickers and random shit on the fretboard. That is actually my own doing. I taped fret markers in the form of little numbered bits of paper to the fretboard. There are also little stickers with that little bird from Snoopy that I strategically placed to mark where you tune the strings, although these are useless because this guitar will sound terrible and out of tune no matter what. Remember, this is a piece of shit beginners guitar and I feel no regret for having defaced it with stickers. They were helpful and in fact, they will probably be helpful to you, but I'm not going to charge you extra for that. You can send all thank-you letters and gifts to my business address and I will have my assistant sort through them. I wouldn't protest a gift of fancy chocolates or frozen steaks.
Out of the goodness of my lump-of-coal heart, I'm also going to throw in a guitar strap, which is equally shitty in terms of quality. Yes, ladies and gentleman, all this can be yours for a mere $5. Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to include a pick with this guitar because I only have a couple and lose them constantly. So just like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine was in the bathroom and needed some toilet paper but was informed by her neighboring bathroom-goer that she didn't have "a square to spare," I likewise don't have a pick to spare. Luckily, because of my excellent sense of direction, I am able to direct you to the nearest Guitar Center where you can get all the picks your little heart desires. Most of them will be lost by the end of the week, though. Heed my warning: picks are like that.
So, yes: all this can be yours, craigslist pervert. If you learn to play a few songs and move on to a real guitar, then this piece of shit will have done its job and maybe you can forward it on to another ambivalent beginner guitarist. Because although it is incredibly shitty, it does in fact attempt to function much like a real guitar, and may just be the stepping stone you need to learn to play the guitar without breaking the bank.
You'll have to come pick it up, though, because I'm too embarrassed to be seen with this guitar in public. Again I'm just kidding.. no, no I'm not. You will have to come get it. I cannot deliver. Now, I'm going to make sure my ringer is on nice and loud because I know my phone will be blowing up with inquiries regarding this wonderful deal. If you decide this p.o.s. is not worth $5, well, you're probably right. If there are no takers I can go ahead and let you know the location of the dumpster where you can get it for free in a couple of days in case you need some extra materials for a bonfire when you go camping this weekend."
Packerbacker
Grandpa Whine
I'd kind of like to meet the guy just to shoot the shit,sounds like a cool guy.
Gary Blanchard
beloved, local musician
I'm glad DCF posted that, as it has been flagged for removal and is no longer visible.
That was funny.
That was funny.
Funny ad.
It is nice to see the guy accurately describe the guitar as terrible, list it really cheap, and suggest it to a beginner as a way to see if you like guitar. On my local CL, that guitar would be listed for more than you could buy it new of Amazon.
It is nice to see the guy accurately describe the guitar as terrible, list it really cheap, and suggest it to a beginner as a way to see if you like guitar. On my local CL, that guitar would be listed for more than you could buy it new of Amazon.
Flatspotter
What?
Jeez, the one honest ad on Craigslist and it gets flagged.
Elias Graves
Common misfit
Meh. I've seen shittier.
Elias Graves
Common misfit
I had one here not long ago about a Jeep that was pretty funny.
Not sure if they work or not but good for a chuckle.
Not sure if they work or not but good for a chuckle.
