jelloman
Couch'd Tater...
This Week's Episode:
Horse-Face-Plant
When things get slow, sometimes I find a nice shady spot to park and wait for my next call. Today I was parked by the 2nd Baptist Church, over by the bowling alley and Garcia's LatinAmerican Market...
I was just getting into my new Sports Illustrated when I hear and odd clatter from over by the bowling alley...I look up and see a riderless bicycle on the ground...it was riderless because the guy riding it was lying face down in the parking lot...
get up...c'mon man, get up...
Nope...he gets to his knees, crawls a few feet and falls again...
shit...
I grabbed my cel phone and dialed up the city police...
"yeah, send an officer and an ambulance to the bowling alley, some guy just passed out on the ground..."
I drive over to him and get out...the guy is soaked with sweat, hid face id a bloody mess...there's gravel stuck to his face...and he's shaking...and when I say "shaking" I mean like I've never seen anyone shake before...
"stay down man...I got an ambulance coming..."
...totally unresponsive...vacant stare...totally disconnected from reality...oh good the cop's here...
"is an ambulance coming?"
"Calm down dude"
calm down? fuck, this guys gonna die of heatstroke right in front of me...
the nice police officer proceeds to try and interview the guy...rather unsuccessfully, I must say...ambulance is here...
"what are you on?"
"...heroin..."
HEROIN? HEROIN! you stupid FUCK it's 100 degrees out here and you riding a bike OD'd on HEROIN?!?
The ambulance crew loads the junkie asshole up, the nice friendly police officer gets in his car and they all drive away...
HEY! what about me? can I go now?
YOU'RE WELCOME!
nothing...I'm not looking for a citizen's award or anything but at least a "thanks, you can go sir, we got this" would have been nice, ya know?
Horse-Face-Plant
When things get slow, sometimes I find a nice shady spot to park and wait for my next call. Today I was parked by the 2nd Baptist Church, over by the bowling alley and Garcia's LatinAmerican Market...
I was just getting into my new Sports Illustrated when I hear and odd clatter from over by the bowling alley...I look up and see a riderless bicycle on the ground...it was riderless because the guy riding it was lying face down in the parking lot...
get up...c'mon man, get up...
Nope...he gets to his knees, crawls a few feet and falls again...
shit...
I grabbed my cel phone and dialed up the city police...
"yeah, send an officer and an ambulance to the bowling alley, some guy just passed out on the ground..."
I drive over to him and get out...the guy is soaked with sweat, hid face id a bloody mess...there's gravel stuck to his face...and he's shaking...and when I say "shaking" I mean like I've never seen anyone shake before...
"stay down man...I got an ambulance coming..."
...totally unresponsive...vacant stare...totally disconnected from reality...oh good the cop's here...
"is an ambulance coming?"
"Calm down dude"
calm down? fuck, this guys gonna die of heatstroke right in front of me...
the nice police officer proceeds to try and interview the guy...rather unsuccessfully, I must say...ambulance is here...
"what are you on?"
"...heroin..."
HEROIN? HEROIN! you stupid FUCK it's 100 degrees out here and you riding a bike OD'd on HEROIN?!?
The ambulance crew loads the junkie asshole up, the nice friendly police officer gets in his car and they all drive away...
HEY! what about me? can I go now?
YOU'RE WELCOME!
nothing...I'm not looking for a citizen's award or anything but at least a "thanks, you can go sir, we got this" would have been nice, ya know?