sunvalleylaw
Yep.
Thanks for sitting with me, folks. You’re good people. I will gladly sit by any and all of you as well.
Mental health check-in
- Thread starter Flamencology
- Start date
frunobulax
Gak Pernah Cukup!
The band got together on Sunday for the first time in about 6 months. Outside,and we maintained sensible social distancing as we beat out a few songs and just hung out. A great pleasure to do something so normal.
Apparently we've been offered a small party gig in 3 weeks.
Not me, I'm out.
No gigs until I've been jabbed with a vaccine.
Apparently we've been offered a small party gig in 3 weeks.
Not me, I'm out.
No gigs until I've been jabbed with a vaccine.
I've noticed my stress level going up as we start to prepare for the return to school, both for the kids and myself. My band is playing a party this weekend and just like @frunobulax I'm subbing it out until we get the vaccine.
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
My middle kid, the Wesleyan student, is weighing his options. The school has a detailed and very careful plan to try to do a hybrid return to campus, with mandatory 2 week quarantines, testing, etc. BUT, of course college kids do not always follow the rules.
My kid is feeling a bit lost. He loves our mountains and outdoors, and probably wants to return to such a place someday. But he sees himself in an intellectually and socially stimulating environment (he loved the Wesleyan campus experience) and/or community for some years before deciding. He frankly may leave the States at some point.
But he is fighting some depression here, and feels isolated and alone here. He loves us, but . . . You know.
So, right now, he is planning on trying the return to campus rather than taking a term off. Makes me nervous, but so does him sitting here in a childhood room at his parents’ house in Hailey, Idaho with limited prospects. I am wondering if we will just lose a bunch of money as we buy travel plans, get ready, and then a bunch of schools who have tried opening all hastily close down again as shit hits the fan. But, I don’t feel like I can shit on his decision and attempt to return to school.
My kid is feeling a bit lost. He loves our mountains and outdoors, and probably wants to return to such a place someday. But he sees himself in an intellectually and socially stimulating environment (he loved the Wesleyan campus experience) and/or community for some years before deciding. He frankly may leave the States at some point.
But he is fighting some depression here, and feels isolated and alone here. He loves us, but . . . You know.
So, right now, he is planning on trying the return to campus rather than taking a term off. Makes me nervous, but so does him sitting here in a childhood room at his parents’ house in Hailey, Idaho with limited prospects. I am wondering if we will just lose a bunch of money as we buy travel plans, get ready, and then a bunch of schools who have tried opening all hastily close down again as shit hits the fan. But, I don’t feel like I can shit on his decision and attempt to return to school.
Help!I'maRock!
Mediocringly Derivative
My son has gone to a private Jewish day school for nursery school and pre-k since we moved to Sacramento. We had made the choice to keep him there for kindergarten before the pandemic, because it was the only program that offered a full day program and had an afterschool program as well. We applied for and received a partial tuition reduction.
As the pandemic hit, the kindergarten teacher decided to stay home this coming year. She has 4 young children and better to stay home and reduce exposure. At that point, kindergarten was going to be combined with their first grade class, and there would be 8 kids taught by the first grade teacher and an aide.
Since that call, enrollment spiked and the kindergarten class looks to have 10-12 kids. The school hired a kindergarten teacher who used to work there previously in teaching and administrative roles, and we'll meet her soon. They'll start with a distance learning program that runs from 8:30am to 2:30pm. And they can loan us a free computer or tablet for him to use. While the school doesn't want us to be hands on in the class, there's obviously going to be some interaction given the age. They're also ready to go once the county is cleared for in-person learning. But even then, there likely won't be an after-school program this year.
While the cost is a burden, especially with me not working, this is a significantly better opportunity for him than the local school district. Their kindergarten program is only 3 hours per day with larger projected class sizes. So we'll see how this year goes and hopefully he can go to public school for first grade.
For myself, knowing I'll have longer than anticipated time unemployed, I'm just trying to keep my head clear. Last month I started walking in the morning and found a loop that's about 4.75 miles. It takes me about 80 minutes to complete, though I'm not going for super speed either. My goal here is really just to get out, get moving, and get my legs under me. I'd like to go a little faster but ankle pains and shin splints keep me from that just yet. I feel like I'm making slow, steady progress, and that's really all that matters.
As the pandemic hit, the kindergarten teacher decided to stay home this coming year. She has 4 young children and better to stay home and reduce exposure. At that point, kindergarten was going to be combined with their first grade class, and there would be 8 kids taught by the first grade teacher and an aide.
Since that call, enrollment spiked and the kindergarten class looks to have 10-12 kids. The school hired a kindergarten teacher who used to work there previously in teaching and administrative roles, and we'll meet her soon. They'll start with a distance learning program that runs from 8:30am to 2:30pm. And they can loan us a free computer or tablet for him to use. While the school doesn't want us to be hands on in the class, there's obviously going to be some interaction given the age. They're also ready to go once the county is cleared for in-person learning. But even then, there likely won't be an after-school program this year.
While the cost is a burden, especially with me not working, this is a significantly better opportunity for him than the local school district. Their kindergarten program is only 3 hours per day with larger projected class sizes. So we'll see how this year goes and hopefully he can go to public school for first grade.
For myself, knowing I'll have longer than anticipated time unemployed, I'm just trying to keep my head clear. Last month I started walking in the morning and found a loop that's about 4.75 miles. It takes me about 80 minutes to complete, though I'm not going for super speed either. My goal here is really just to get out, get moving, and get my legs under me. I'd like to go a little faster but ankle pains and shin splints keep me from that just yet. I feel like I'm making slow, steady progress, and that's really all that matters.
Last edited:
DdBob
Dogue in teh desert
I'll let you know this eveni9ng...so far I'm threee hours into what is about a 17 hour book job so that means more like twenty hours....blower motor on a 2010 range Rover
. The whole dash has to come out....it's a fucking mess and intimidating because it's not like a Chevy where you can accidently break shit or scratch something
look at this...listen how beat down this guy sounds
. The whole dash has to come out....it's a fucking mess and intimidating because it's not like a Chevy where you can accidently break shit or scratch something
look at this...listen how beat down this guy sounds
Brian Krashpad
T1N2bM0
I'll let you know this eveni9ng...so far I'm threee hours into what is about a 17 hour book job so that means more like twenty hours....blower motor on a 2010 range Rover
. The whole dash has to come out....it's a fucking mess and intimidating because it's not like a Chevy where you can accidently break shit or scratch something
look at this...listen how beat down this guy sounds
Wow, that is absolute shit industrial design.
This kind of shit is why I do so little mechanical or electrical repairs on anything. Not none, but almost none. I have fixed some minor things on guitars, electric lawn mowers, and even home plumbing. But that looks like a fucking nightmare. No fucking way.
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
This makes me feel good. A lot of these going down in Western WA, restoring salmon runs. And the salmon are coming back in the previous runs where this has been done. when I was a little kid, my parents took me to ski at a tiny ski resort at Mt. Pilchuck, shown on the map. That little ski hill is long since gone. But anyway, a story that helps my mental health.
ANOTHER WASHINGTON DAM REMOVAL AN D37 MORE MILES OF SALMON HABITAT RESTORED.
https://www.seattletimes.com/seattl...and-37-more-miles-of-salmon-habitat-restored/
ANOTHER WASHINGTON DAM REMOVAL AN D37 MORE MILES OF SALMON HABITAT RESTORED.
https://www.seattletimes.com/seattl...and-37-more-miles-of-salmon-habitat-restored/
Last edited:
DdBob
Dogue in teh desert
don't get me started on the Rovers/Jags
A lot of their stuff is BMW it's all super fucked up engineering. If they can make something difficult they do....just for sport i think. IMHO (totally serious here) I think there is something in their philosophy of "stiff upper lip/keep calm carry on" mentality and perhaps some sado masochism because there's no reason to build them like they do. not a damn thing easy. Yesterday I did an ac compressor/condensor and expansion valve on a 2007...2500.00 was the bill and about 10 hours labor. This will be close to 3000.00 for a freekin' blower motor. If you're familiar with most blower motors (american made, asian....it's about a 30 minute job...Rover book time is like 14 hours which is a joke...this is gonna take me three days.here's where I am 7 hours later still gotta take the steering wheel and clockspring off and then the dash bracket is ready to pop off but who knows what else is under there probably two more hours before I get to the blower
Gonna have a beer and relax tonight.
Andrew Sak
Even Andy Deserves Good BEans
That looks pretty challenging. Good luck.
don't get me started on the Rovers/Jags
here's where I am 7 hours later still gotta take the steering wheel and clockspring off and then the dash bracket is ready to pop off but who knows what else is under there probably two more hours before I get to the blower
View attachment 59271
PunkKitty
The fates already f'ked me sideways
This is why I pay people to fix my car. Mojo.
don't get me started on the Rovers/Jags
here's where I am 7 hours later still gotta take the steering wheel and clockspring off and then the dash bracket is ready to pop off but who knows what else is under there probably two more hours before I get to the blower
View attachment 59271
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
Ok, gonna share something pretty personal. After some family trauma over the years, my wife and I had fallen into going through the motions, and each harboring some personal resentments toward the other. Plus, the stuff each of us were not good at before this family trauma, and now all the shit going on now, had not gone away. I had thought we had made some real progress in the year prior to COVID, and had started to turn a corner toward growing more together again as our kids are leaving the home (one high school senior left). But, COVID halted some progress, and reignited some irritations, apparently. My biggest failing is I don’t care that much about money, and as a result, I am not that great at making financial progress. I had been working on it and I felt really making some headway, but again, for me, COVID really slowed me down. The financial impact, and my anxiety and depression that keeps me from doing basic things that any reasonable person would want to do (but I have a hard time getting done). Not an issue of not knowing what needs to be done, or anything like that, more being stuck. And my counselor, who had helped me push through, well, Covid, then she left the mental health center that takes our insurance (though I really like working with her) and I have not seen her since maybe late February.
Last night, my wife and I were getting on each other’s nerves and she basically said she was pretty close to the door, but would do joint counseling (she sees her own as well, but has not since before COVID also) to see if “there is anything to salvage.”
I think the biggest foundational issue is the finances thing, (both self employed, fortunately both able to work and still making money, if not the same as pre-covid). Neither of us slept last night, and she got up and worked on some follow up to the plan we had discussed pre-covid but had gotten set aside due to covid and her being completely out of work and me very much slowed down and/or stopped for a while. We had to do the forbearance on our mortgage, and that had to go into the mix too. Well, looks like there is a path forward with our lender that can get us back on track there.
So, that whole conversation scared the shit out of me. I love her, even if we struggle together. I just want her to want me. And it seems like all of this could flip like a dime. So, so far today, I talked to her about following through on the financial plan, and told you folks all this. Now, I guess I will see about re-connecting with my counselor and see if I can move forward there, as it was working, and I thought I was getting on top of my pedal stroke in dealing with some personal crap.
Oh, and apparently I might be ADD or ADHD or something, according to my family, extended family, and it seems to be exacerbating my problems with the stuff I am not good at, so that goes on the list, getting evaluated somehow. Not sure how that works with COVID. And then, there are other concrete steps I can take to work on my end of the foundational issue, and along the way see what I can do to improve our day to day personal, as I have been doing all this time. But without the foundational work, any effort I put into a better home life really won’t matter.
Last night, my wife and I were getting on each other’s nerves and she basically said she was pretty close to the door, but would do joint counseling (she sees her own as well, but has not since before COVID also) to see if “there is anything to salvage.”
I think the biggest foundational issue is the finances thing, (both self employed, fortunately both able to work and still making money, if not the same as pre-covid). Neither of us slept last night, and she got up and worked on some follow up to the plan we had discussed pre-covid but had gotten set aside due to covid and her being completely out of work and me very much slowed down and/or stopped for a while. We had to do the forbearance on our mortgage, and that had to go into the mix too. Well, looks like there is a path forward with our lender that can get us back on track there.
So, that whole conversation scared the shit out of me. I love her, even if we struggle together. I just want her to want me. And it seems like all of this could flip like a dime. So, so far today, I talked to her about following through on the financial plan, and told you folks all this. Now, I guess I will see about re-connecting with my counselor and see if I can move forward there, as it was working, and I thought I was getting on top of my pedal stroke in dealing with some personal crap.
Oh, and apparently I might be ADD or ADHD or something, according to my family, extended family, and it seems to be exacerbating my problems with the stuff I am not good at, so that goes on the list, getting evaluated somehow. Not sure how that works with COVID. And then, there are other concrete steps I can take to work on my end of the foundational issue, and along the way see what I can do to improve our day to day personal, as I have been doing all this time. But without the foundational work, any effort I put into a better home life really won’t matter.
Brian Krashpad
T1N2bM0
^What Monica said, Steve. Take care.
sleewell
Kick Henry Jackassowski
our "show" on sat went great. we were able to stay far away from people so it felt pretty safe. people said we sounded great and we were actually able to play our set twice with a good break in between. tons of fun to be playing music outside in nice weather with good friends. has me in a much better mental place than before. i love it when your neck is sore from head banging lol a good type of soreness.
rickenvox
Animal Psychic
Mojo brother. Hey, serious question here, do you find that cycling or regular workouts help your moods and outlook?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
sunvalleylaw
Yep.
Absolutely. Movement, particularly anything that has a bilateral component, such as turning, is good. In addition to the cardiovascular and brain chemical effects of spinning up that system. I do well with at least some intensity/interval sort of efforts mentally, in addition to just a long grind, as well, at least once or twice a week. Nature is really good. Outside. Bi-lateral stimulation has been helpful in the past. in fact, my attempts at meditating, or more accurately, mindfulness, as I don't think I am really good at actual meditation, is aided by some visualization, and tactile bilateral such as holding a stone in each hand and sensing one than the the other along with the visualizing. Often this will be a ski turn either on water or snow that is being visualized. Amazing how it centers me.
In the therapist's office before Covid, was making a lot of progress and felt ready to really be on top of the pedal stroke so to speak on a lot of the stuff I just said, then Covid and set-back. Was handling my symptoms a lot better, and was slowly, slowly moving forward on my foundational stuff, and was going to follow up on the ADHD/ADD evaluation stuff. Though it is amazing how long it takes me to get stuff like that calendared and done.
In our marriage and family life, I thought we had been making significant progress. But my wife spoke her mind honestly last night and that is better than not.
Getting the financial recovery plan back on board seems to help, and I don't think she is kicking me to the curb just yet. But, there is work to do. In a way, I guess forcing a deeper dive on this stuff may be a really good thing.
Also, was able to get signed up with my prior therapist at her new place and have an appointment for Wednesday after next. I am presuming that is zoom or something but am waiting for the appointment confirmation. It was all online and electronic to get signed up. Fine with me.
My wife was going to look at options for a joint counselor who is not either of our personal therapists.
Last edited:
Mojo man but I'm bullshit on folk saying you're ADD / ADHD, that's not for anyone, except for a qualified expert, to discern. If you have issues around it you would like answers to then get a diagnostic done but don't let others tell you that.
I start back school tomorrow. Kids start on Wednesday. Been a long time coming and whilst it's going to be total shit, I can't wait to get back to the grind.
I start back school tomorrow. Kids start on Wednesday. Been a long time coming and whilst it's going to be total shit, I can't wait to get back to the grind.