Some Lyrics I'm Farting Around W/

[Sad Navigator]

Not entirely sold on these yet...

Slang King's Skull

Bring the slang king's skull
on a chromed imported platter
or a roaring bed of pleasure
Brandish it with relish
Like a plundered Spanish treasure

All we ever get
in these mallways of our lives
Are ritual simulations
And senic Sunday drives

Yet more manic shaman rebels
With more squalid tales of woe
Plus our half-remembered teenhoods
On neon beaches in the snow

Bring the slang king's skull
on a chromed imported platter
or a roaring bed of pleasure
Brandish it with relish
Spanish boots in any weather

[mosiddiqi]

Not sure about the whole thing, but I do like "mallways of our lives" "manic shaman rebels" and "chromed imported platter".

[Sad Navigator]

Not sure about the whole thing, but I do like "mallways of our lives" "manic shaman rebels" and "chromed imported platter".

Well two of those three are knicked from an essay I read recently. They're allusions. Yeah...that's it.

[Mark Wein]

I really like these bits:




Bring the slang king's skull





All we ever get
in these mallways of our lives
Are ritual simulations

After the top 3 lines (which I think are killer) this one seems like a throw away...it's the one I'd work at replacing if this were my work:




And senic Sunday drives

[Help!I'maRock!]

do you mind if i use these? i think i got something.

[Sad Navigator]

Go ahead. But I may use them too.

[Help!I'maRock!]

Go ahead. But I may use them too.

i think the only people that will notice are you and i. and obviously you get a writing credit on my song. :thu:

[Tralfaz]

I like the imagery overall.

However, I get the impression you were heading to a Dylan reference in the last line, "Spanish boots of Spanish leather" and the switch to "in any weather" leaves me hanging. Not sure how that fits with the theme (as I'm interpreting it). I have an idea of something else that might work better, but perhaps you've already considered and discarded it.

[Sad Navigator]

I like the imagery overall.

However, I get the impression you were heading to a Dylan reference in the last line, "Spanish boots of Spanish leather" and the switch to "in any weather" leaves me hanging. Not sure how that fits with the theme (as I'm interpreting it). I have an idea of something else that might work better, but perhaps you've already considered and discarded it.

Dylan's lurking around in it. It's a pretty impressionistic thing about a Tom Frank essay, Don Draper, chillwave bands, and a minor character from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. I think the Spanish boots + weather thing might be a fusion of the one Dylan song with the "don't need a weatherman..." thing. It's mostly tension about outsider/insider stuff and probably a little too much heavy thinking about the Arcade Fire's new record. So yeah, it's mostly a mood piece.